Remembering You
by tmmachado
Summary: Raymond Reddington and Elizabeth Keen are on a relationship. After departing on a trip without properly saying goodbye to her, Red comes back on their six months anniversary. But what will he find when he comes back? Written for the Secret Santa challenge for jackandsamforever. I hope you'll like this!


Hi, everyone! This is a simple one-shot made for jackandsamforever as part of the Secret Santa challenge. I'm sorry it took so long, but I'm really nervous about this, because she is such a very good writer and I really wanted to do something worthy of her. Big shout goes to my life saviour friend FrostyFingers for helping me with the plot and beta-ing this for me. Seriously girl, I've lost count of how much I owe you already hahaha. Anyway, I hope you all like it!

As always, I own nothing!

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><p>He was so excited to be back. So damn excited to see her again. When he had left, things hadn't been the greatest between them, but he was positive that after three weeks apart, they would both be delighted to be in each other's arms and everything would be forgotten. He would apologize. She didn't deserve the way he had treated her. Of course she was worried about him and he hadn't even considered that beforehand. But he also knew that she would apologize for some stupid reason that he was sure he would have never held against her. No, everything would go back to normal once he had her in his arms again.<p>

As soon has his jet touched the airstrip in D.C., Red immediately went to Lizzie's hotel, one hand holding a velvet box containing a beautiful necklace that had reminded him of her as soon as he had cast eyes upon it and in the other, a single red rose. It was their six months anniversary and Red had done everything to be back in time to surprise her on this day. Dembe had laughed at him for being corny, but he was madly in love with this beautiful young woman and he would tear the world apart for her.

He knocked on her door three times and, hearing movement coming from inside, put on a smile that he reserved for his Lizzie only. That smile immediately faded when the door opened and it wasn't her on the other side, but a 6' 3" shirtless guy with only a towel wrapped around his waist, who was apparently all wet from a recent shower. Red took in the other guy's obviously worked out shape and thought there was a mistake.

"I'm sorry, I think I have the wrong room number." Just when he was turning around to walk back down the hallway, another voice, her voice, called out from inside.

"Who is it, Dave?" Red turned around in time to see her head appear at the door frame. "Red! You're back." She stood there beside the guy, Dave, looking at Red with a smile on her lips.

"Yes. But apparently I'm interrupting something. Don't worry about me, I'll just be going now." His voice was detached of any emotion and Liz felt a shiver run down her spine from his cold tone.

"Wait! Are you sure there is nothing I can do for you? Do you want to come inside for some coffee?" But he was already walking away, turning his head just barely so she could hear him.

"Nothing that can't wait, Agent Keen." And he was gone.

Xxxx

Dembe could tell there was something wrong the moment Red came out of the hotel doors making his way to the car. He didn't speak a word all the way to the safe house and once they had arrived, he had gotten out of the car shutting the door quite loudly.

When Dembe had finished taking the suitcases out of the trunk of car and inside the house, he saw the necklace box carelessly tossed onto the kitchen table and the rose in the trash. When he passed by the living room, he saw Red with a bottle of his favorite whisky in his hand, and taking a closer look at his friend, he saw his eyes were red. Something was definitely wrong.

Xxxx

_~three weeks before~_

"_Lizzie, I've already told you that I have to go and take care of this personally. I'm sorry, sweetheart, but it's just __too__ important to have someone else deal with this." _

"_Red, please don't go! This is a suicide mission! You may get killed! What if they get you? At least take me __with you__!" _

"_That is __ridiculous__, Elizabeth! I'm not taking you with me. __Whatever might happen, you will always be cared for, you don't have to worry about that._

_Before he could even __reach out to__ touch her, she had left his house angrier __than he had__ ever __seen before__. Red took a deep breath and got back to packing his things. __He felt bad for not having the time to say goodbye properly, but surely she would understand._

_Xxxxx_

_He had already been gone for two weeks and hadn't contacted Lizzie __once__. __It wasn't that he didn't want to call her, he just hadn't been able to do so before__. __At least he__ knew she was safe, he would always make sure of that, but he just had to hear her voice __now__, it was driving him mad. __This__ was the longest they had stayed apart since they had __started__ their relationship. Not able to hold off any longer, he __took__ the phone and called her. She picked up on the second ring._

"_Red? Is that you? Are you ok?" He could hear the nervousness in her voice, the worry. _

"_Well, it's good to hear you too, sweetheart." He gave a low chuckle at her exasperated sight. "Yes, Lizzie, I'm fine. I'm sorry I haven't called before." _

"_I'm sorry you left that way. I'm sorry for not saying goodbye properly." Red smiled at her words. His Lizzie could never cease to amaze him. _

"_Don't worry about it. I just called because I had to hear your voice again. I miss you, Lizzie." _

"_Oh, Red. I miss you too! I __went__ to your house later __that day__, but you weren't there anymore. You have no idea how bad I felt. __Thinking that I could lose you after being a bitch towards you. I didn't mean to pick a fight.__ I love you so much, Red. Please come back __to me__." She was crying now. He knew it even though she was trying to disguise it. _

_He hated seeing or hearing her cry. Swallowing hard,_ _he answered,_ "_Shh… it's okay, Lizzie. I'm okay. Nothing happened to me and nothing will. I'll be back next week, sweetheart. I promise. I'm sorry, I have to go now. I'll see you soon. I love you, Lizzie." _

He couldn't believe he had been such a fool. To have hoped that she would be happy upon seeing him again and for believing that she would have actually waited for him when he had left the way he had. Well, it appeared as if she had moved on already, so be it.

Xxxx

Once Dave had left her hotel room, Liz couldn't help but mull over Red's weird appearance at her door. She tried to think of something that could explain his behavior, but some things from before the accident were still a blur and her head was still giving her trouble. She decided to call him then, and dialed his number. It rang seven times before the call was disconnected. She tried to call again, but with no luck. Deciding she would just talk to him tomorrow at work, Liz made her way to bed.

The next day at the office was as boring as any day without Red giving them new blacklister. Everybody had to take care of the paperwork that had gathered from previous cases. The day passed by without even a sign of Red.

Getting home, she got ready for bed before calling Red again. This time, Dembe picked up.

"Dembe, can I please talk to him?" She was hoping her voice didn't sound nearly as nervous as she felt.

"Mr. Reddington is unavailable at the moment, Agent Keen." His words were short, without of any sign that could tell her what was really happening. With a sigh, she hung up.

That night her dreams were filled with nightmares about her accident.

Xxxx

The next day at the post office was going just like the previous. Liz had already lost hope of seeing Red, when the elevator doors opened and the Concierge of Crime came out wearing his navy three piece suit and matching fedora. Liz couldn't tear her eyes off him and immediately shot a smile in his direction. She was about to rise from her chair when he simply passed by her office without shooting a single glance in her direction.

"Agent Navabi! How are you, my dear? Looking stunning as always. I have a new case for you. You'll find everything you need inside the folder. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to call me at any time," he spoke, dropping his voice ever so slightly in the end.

And just as soon as he had entered, he had left the building with not one look of acknowledgement in Lizzie's direction. She was left at her desk feeling numb like never before. It was all she could do to not cry in front of all her co-workers and when the day finally ended, she all but ran home. Tears started flowing the moment she hit the streets that would take her to the hotel. She was feeling humiliated and cast aside. She always felt like she wasn't alone in the world because of Red, but now, when even he was ignoring her, she had no one. She was completely and utterly alone.

When Liz opened her door, she ran to her bed and just dropped there. She had never cried so much. Not when Sam had died, not when she had found out about Tom. She had never been so desperate. She was hurting more than she thought possible and she couldn't help but pick up her phone and calling his number. Every unanswered ring elicited a higher sob from her throat while the knife in her heart twisted ever so slightly.

"Agent Keen?"

It was Dembe's voice. Not exactly what she wanted, but she couldn't help but feel some hope.

"Dembe, I need to talk to him. Please, it's urgent." She tried to show him just how much she needed to be put through. Red had never denied her that, why would he now?

"Raymond is busy right now. Do you want to leave a message?" She couldn't believe what the man was saying. Had she not been clear enough? Just when she opened her mouth to speak again, she heard it. _His_ undeniable laugh. And along with it was another one. A woman's laughter. That was when her heart crashed. She couldn't stand it anymore. She hung up the phone and cried herself to sleep, making definite decisions that would certainly help with her suffering.

Xxxx

When Liz got to the P.O. the next morning, she didn't even bother going to her desk. She made her way up the stairs to Cooper's office and upon hearing the "come in", opened the door.

"Good morning, Sir."

"Agent Keen, what can I do for you?" Liz simply handed him a white envelope. "And what is this?" Cooper was eyeing the object suspiciously.

"My resignation letter, Sir."

She tried to refrain from showing any emotion, but by the look Cooper was giving her, it was clear she wasn't succeeding that much.

"May I ask why?"

"I feel like since the death of my father I haven't had time to properly mourn. And then after everything with Tom and my recent accident. I still haven't been able to remember some things…" she trailed off, her eyes set on a point on her boss' desk. "I just need some time for myself, and I know that I can't afford that with this task force, so I'd rather leave than pull everyone down with me."

"But Reddington…" Cooper tried to argue, but Liz interrupted him immediately.

"It's clear that he is willing to talk to other people now, Sir. I don't believe that will be a problem." No, that would definitely not be a problem. Of that she was sure.

"Agent Keen, I'm not happy about it. But I can understand your reasons. You can count on an excellent recommendation."

"Thank you, Sir."

She went to her office to gather her personal things and just left. She didn't say goodbye to anyone. She didn't want to. No need to suffer more than she already was.

Liz had been contemplating the idea of visiting her remaining family in Nebraska for a while now and decided she would like to make it a road trip. So, she got up from her bed, packed her stuff and checked out of the hotel.

She was already half way through the city when his face showed up in her head once again. Her heart was clenching so tightly inside her chest when she felt tears flowing down her cheeks, blurring her vision. She couldn't just leave him like this.

She turned the car around and headed to the safe house she knew he was at. She decided to confront even Dembe if need be, but she would at least take one last look at him and make him look at her in return. Ten minutes later, Liz parked her car in front of his house. Almost running to the door, she started banging her fist loudly against the wood until the door flew open and Red was looking at her with an expression of complete annoyance on his face.

"Agent Keen, to what do I owe the pleasure of being in your presence?" His voice full of sarcasm.

She was sure she would yell at him, make him the target of all her anger. Let him know exactly just how she had felt for the last couple days, how she felt at this moment. But seeing him now, took her breath away and she felt her heart crumbling further. She was sure he could see that her eyes were puffy and her face flushed and wet with tears.

"I had to see you…I-I had to see you one last time."

His brows furrowed at her words and he quickly stepped aside for her to enter, despite everything he still had manners. "What do you mean 'one last time'?"

"I've resigned." Red could feel the air leaving his lungs just then. Resigned? No. Not possible. Not even fair.

"So that's it then?" His control clearly disappearing. "You screw up and instead of facing the consequences for your choices, you simply decide to run away?!" He was angry. Angrier than he could remember being in a long time. Angrier than he ever had been with her.

"Screw up? What are you talking about, Red? I don't know what I did to you, but I just can't stand this cold demeanor you've been giving me since you showed up at my hotel." She was getting angry too. How dare he call her leaving a matter of cowardice, when he was the one pushing her to that decision?

"Well, if you hadn't decided to screw another guy on our six months anniversary, I certainly would not be treating you like this!"

Liz went blank then. His words hit her like a thousand bricks. Suddenly all of her dreams started making sense. It hadn't been dreams, it had been memories from before the accident. Their first kiss; their first night together; him declaring his love for her; her declaring her love for him; their fight; him going away; the phone call. And that moment she understood where their problem lay. Why he had reacted the way he had when he saw Dave in her hotel room that day. The rose and the box in his hand. And most importantly, why he had felt the need to step away from her. She could only imagine how that must have felt for him.

"The accident…" Was all she could muster. Her head was spinning. Her heart was slowly unclenching. Knot by knot.

"Accident? What accident, Lizzie?" His confusion was obvious on his face, but just hearing him say her name again already made her happy.

"Last week. The day after I spoke with you on the phone. I got into a car accident and suffered a severe concussion. The doctors said I had temporary memory loss." She shook her head, a far away expression in her eyes. "I kept having these dreams with you, but I thought that was all they were. Dreams. Please Red, you have to believe me. I would never give you up for anyone." Liz was crying again. She would've never thought it was possible for someone to cry that much, but here she was, with new tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Lizzie… nobody ever told me…" He couldn't believe it. His Lizzie, so defenseless, so breakable, in a car accident. And none of the morons she worked with or the ones he paid to look out for her had had the decency of letting him know about it. But he would never doubt her, sure that she would never lie to him like that. She would never willingly cheat on him with anyone, even that… "What about that Dave guy? Why was he there, Lizzie? And like that…"

"Red, Dave is gay. He goes to the same gym I go. We went to my hotel so he could take a shower because his is broken." She was smiling now. Just a small smile, which looked more like a grimace, but it was the light to his darkness.

"Oh, Lizzie." He couldn't hold himself back any longer. Crossing the room in two long strides, he gathered her in his arms, hugging her tightly and kissing her the like he had so desperately wanted to since the day he had left.

When the need for air became unbearable, they broke apart and he started peppering her face and neck with small kisses, whispering words of adoration and apologies against her skin.

Her arms went from around his waist to his neck, pulling him even closer. "I love you, Raymond," she spoke softly against the side of his head. Feeling rather than hearing his reply made her shiver in his embrace and she knew right then that she was safe once again. That she was complete. That she had found her place in the world.


End file.
